OK, I’m going to weigh in on the great toilet seat debate.
“Oh my god! Does he say ‘up’ or ‘down’?” I hear you ask eagerly. Well, wrong on both counts kid, you’re missing the damn point.
The point is, you should be closing the lid of the toilet after you drop your guts into it, ’cause when you flush, little particles of poo and wee get splashed around your den of solitude. So stop arguing about whether the stupid seat should be up or down and close the lid!
So this makes the whole seat debate just really dumb and boring. Complaining that somebody left the toilet seat up when you need it down (or vice versa, but who complains when people leave it down?) is just banal and ridiculous. Here’s why:
- It takes, like, 1 second to reverse the situation. Do you really need to save that single second of your time?
- What makes you and your needs more important than the other person’s?
- You need to have something more important to care about. Oh, here’s something you can try to get started: think about the toilet roll instead. Is the paper over or under? Now you’re tackling some serious issues. Don’t overdo it!
Well that’s all I have to say on this waste-of-time non-issue, now you will be well equipped to deal with any toilet seat without wetting yourself about whether it’s up or down. Don’t forget, after you finish put the lid down and wash your hands.